Merry Hellmas by Raven Vincent

Author:Raven Vincent [Vincent, Raven]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Churnmilk Publishing
Published: 2023-12-22T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

Kris watched frozen and horrified as Satan’s knees went out from under him. Kris launched into action, catching him on his way to the floor. The momentum and weight carried them both down but somehow Kris managed to cradle Satan against his chest and take most of the impact when they hit the floor.

“Satan? Satan?” Kris gently patted Satan’s face, then harder when he didn’t respond. “Wake up. Wake up. Is he ok? Oh, he’s not ok, he’s not ok.”

Sam leaned over them, grunted softly. “Just fainted. He’ll be ok.”

Not very reassuring. Not when Satan’s face was a deathly grey.

“He could be seriously ill,” Kris shouted, surprising himself. He didn’t recall ever shouting in his life. “We have to get him out of here, take him somewhere safe—a hospital! He needs a doctor. Oh, fudge, he could already be dead!”

Sam knelt beside him then. “He’s not dead, he’s clearly breathing. See?” Sam pointed to Satan’s chest. “His chest is moving.”

“I-I think—think that’s me shaking him.”

“Then take a deep breath, slow your own breathing and look closer.”

Kris did as Sam said, using the breathing exercises he’d learned in therapy. When he was calmer, he did look again. Satan’s chest was moving up and down but Kris wanted to be sure. He lay him gently on the floor and then pressed his ear to Satan’s chest. There was the steady ba-bump, ba-bump of Satan’s heart and the hollow rasp of his lungs filling. Proof of Satan’s continued life calmed Kris enough to think straight.

Satan wasn’t dead but they did need to get him out of Hell. “Can you take us…?” Kris had been about to say ‘home’ but he no longer even had a home, his rental wasn’t safe—if Satan had found it, then so could Mrs. Claus. And clearly Satan no longer lived here in Hell. “I don’t know where. Somewhere safe?”

Sam nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Kris gathered Satan tight against his chest and after a few stumbles, managed to stand upright with his cargo. Satan was surprisingly heavy considering he was built so lean.

The familiar tingle covered him.

“You are such fudging donkey’s-excrement-hole parents,” Kris yelled at Satan’s parents. He knew full-well they couldn’t hear him but it made him feel slightly better.

“You’re fucking asshole parents,” shouted Sam. “Better?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

The darkness of Sam’s time-traveling void enclosed over them. They reappeared in a brightly lit room. Somewhere nearby a dog barked but otherwise everything seemed calm and peaceful. Kris took a quick glance around and saw a long, white leather couch. He staggered over and lay Satan down, propping a pillow under his feet.

“Tell Satan that concludes our contract,” said Sam. “Need anything more from me, just tell him to call.”

“You’re going?”

“All’s good here.”

Sam was gone before Kris could respond.

Satan stirred, blinked rapidly, then bolted upright.

“Whoah,” said Kris. “Just take a moment to regain your equilibrium.” He amazed himself with how calm he felt when on the inside he was a roiling mass of fear and adrenaline.

“Where are we?” Satan looked around dazed.

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